Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Maximize Your Career. I'm your host, Stacy Mayer.

And I'm laughing a little bit at ayself this morning, it's a Sunday morning in April. And I don't know about you, but I'm feeling sort of this impulse to do things now that the world is starting to return to normal.

And what I mean by that is, my daughter went to kindergarten for the first time in person in her life last week. And I'm realizing:, oh, things are shifting. Things are changing again. Where are we headed?

And I had this epiphany that there are all of these brilliant online yoga classes that exist that were created over the past year. And I haven't been paying attention to them and I could pay attention to them. And now that they're probably going to go away in the next six months, I'm like, oh, I have to start taking yoga classes with all my favorite teachers from all over the world who are now online.

So I'm laughing at myself this morning as I record this episode, because I just took a brilliant yoga class this morning from a lovely, lovely teacher where I used to, before kids, attend her classes three, five days a week and and now I can do it online.

So anyway, I'm just sharing that with you as a little reflection as we all start to enter these new changes that are going to come up in our world again and maybe perhaps take advantage of some of those opportunities that are right in front of our face. That we just kind of forgot about as we got busy again in our normal everyday life. So I wish that for you as we make this change.

Another thing that I want to share with you before we get started in today's episode is, we are actually at the halfway point of my current group of Executive Ahead Of Time.

Executive Ahead Of Time is my six week group coaching intensive that sets you up for your next promotion and gives you success once you actually get there.

And so the second piece that I want to share with you in some of the wins that my

Students are experiencing is that sort of sets you up for success once you actually get the promotion. So there are two students in the group that came and joined Executive Ahead Of Time because there were potential opportunities right in front of them. So they weren't trying to go for the promotion. They were trying to get themselves set up literally to accept the promotion. So if this is you listen on, I want to share with you quickly their experience. And if this is not you, if you're the person who really wants the promotion and you're desperately trying to get it and you're trying to get the recognition that you deserve already, then listen to this, too, because this is a huge part of the promotion process, is really 'saying yes', and not just saying yes to yourself, but saying 'yes' to your ability to succeed at that role.

So let me give you an example. We have an amazing student. Her name is Susan. And we just recently, because we're at the halfway point, we did a reflection like what were your goals at the beginning of the program and what are your goals now that you're halfway through the program? And how are you evaluating your progress? What's working for you? What's not working for you? And what do you want to do differently over the remaining three weeks of the program?

And she said: I feel like a totally different person now. So she wanted to look back at her original goals because it was like: 'I feel like so much has changed in just three weeks.'

So Susan's situation is that she works for a small company and she basically has the opportunity to become the CFO. She is the top of the financial department. In fact, I think she's one of the only people in the financial department at her organization. And she has an incredible relationship with the with the owner/CEO of the organization. But yet there's part of her that really wants to embody, I guess you could call it like work life balance. But that her family life, her personal life, is so important to her that she couldn't see herself in a CFO position without working around the clock, without stress, without the burden, without, you know, having to prove herself constantly. Even though nobody around her was telling her any of this. But her examples in her life of CFOs or people in these senior executive positions are people who are basically workaholics. They're probably men for the most part. And there are people who are just willing to sacrifice and give up things so that they can have this higher title. And that just wasn't her.

So in the process of finding her confidence, she was able to find her voice to actually – and now this is what she's truly saying yes to, by becoming the CFO – she's saying yes to her ability to set boundaries. She is saying yes to this CFO position.

So now, after being a part of this program and really uUnderstanding what that looks like to both accept the role, have success once you get there, that success is having the energy to be able to do the job and not be sucked into the weeds, to be able to create boundaries for herself, to build out the team that she needs, to ask for what she wants. That is how she's going to have success at the senior executive role, and that is how she's going to be able to say yes to becoming the CFO.

So she is now a changed woman because she actually can see herself in that position successfully. This is huge, everyone. I really want you to hear this.

So part of the reason that you're not able to get promoted into a senior executive role is because part of you doesn't actually want it. So really, check in with that and see if that's true. So am I trusting myself that once I do get into that position that I'll be able to set the boundaries that I need? That I will be strong enough to have success and have a brilliant, amazing home life? Be able to spend maybe even more time with my family, because now I'm getting paid for my ideas instead of the hours that I'm working.

And another woman in our group, same situation. So she works for a small non-profit and she's basically the head Of human resources. And she has the opportunity to eventually become the CHRO, but she doesn't even know if she wants it. So she was given an opportunity in these first three weeks of the program to say yes. But she was already so burned out, already so overworked, she didn't want to say yes to it. But because she was in this incredible community of other women, people who were all saying yes to their boundaries, she believed that she could do that, too. So she said 'yes' to the promotion, and she's also saying yes to her ability to trust herself, to set boundaries, and to be super duper successful once she gets into that position.

So congratulations to everyone who has been through my Executive Ahead Of Time program where I cannot wait to see, and I'll keep you all updated, on the next three weeks and see what really comes out of this program.

But if you're listening to this and you're like: 'Oh my gosh, I need this. I need to start stepping in to this place, this powerful executive position, then enrollment is actually open starting this week.

So go to ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com, that's ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com and enroll so that you can finally start saying yes to the promotion. You can finally start saying yes to going for the promotion, having the tools, having the skills to actually get the promotion, but then also having those skills to be successful once you get there. This is huge. It's life changing. And you are going to experience so much success in all areas of your life just because of this investment this time that you put into your career for six weeks. So I cannot wait to see you there. Please go to ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com if you have any questions. I'm an open book. Email me. Let me know. I want to connect with each and every one of you so that you can have the success and the recognition that you really, really deserve.

Now, in today's episode, I'm actually going to share with you a few secrets. These are some things that I know that you don't know.

It actually reminds me of the game: Riddle, Riddle Marie, I see something that you don't see and the color is blue.

And you're looking all around. You're like blue car blue. And it's something that's like literally right in front of your face. And then you're like: 'Oh, that's what it was the whole time!'

So this happens to me all the time because I am constantly working with brilliant, incredible corporate leaders who basically have all the abilities in the world to get themselves promoted, but they're missing the things that are right in front of them.

So I started to make a list of five things that I know that you don't know. And that list turned into seven seven things that I know that you don't know. And I'm going to point those out to you today, because in an effort to, by the end of today's episode, you can't unsee it. Right now that you see the blue car that's right in front of you, you can't unsee it. And you will start to see the success that you already deserve.

So the first thing, and this is one of the simplest things, because it comes up all the time because people are actually joining a program and or hiring a coach when they're working with me is:.

#1 is that executives, your boss, your leadership team loves that you're getting coaching.

So this is something that I know that you don't know. Because most people that I meet aren't quite sure about that one. And time and time again, they hire me as their coach or they join something like Executive Ahead Of Time and they feel like they need to keep it on the DL. That they can't really tell anyone that they're taking a professional development course.

And, you know, it makes sense. Because you don't see people at your organization walking around saying: 'Hey! I'm taking a course to get a promotion. Hey, I just hired a coach because I want to take my career development seriously. Because it really matters to me to be in the C-Suite someday.'

You know, what you see around you? You see two things:

You see other women especially or male minority leaders who are downplaying their abilities. They're sort of keeping it under the rug. They don't want to brag. So they're not actually actively, outwardly talking about it.

Or you see people who are just really, really successful, but they seem like special unicorns. They don't seem like you. They seem like somebody different than you. So you don't really understand or see yourself in their shoes.

But if you're somebody who has really strong mentors or guides in your career and you're having very open and honest conversations, one of the first things that they'll tell you is to get support. To hire a coach. They'll talk about their own success stories as: 'I had a coach, I had a team of support. I had people who challenged me around me.'

So the first thing I want you to realize is that executives love that you are getting coaching. So what does this mean? OK, great Stacy. Executives love that I'm getting coaching. Who cares? OK, fine. They love it. But not only are they cool with it. They respect it.

So when you're thinking about what it's going to take to transition you into a higher level executive position, one of the things that's going to be is being transparent about your desire To be at an executive level position.

So when you start to share with people that: 'Hey, I joined Executive Ahead Of Time because I'm serious about getting into a higher level position this year, they're going to respect that. They're going to know. 'Oh, my gosh, Sandra takes her career seriously. Let's start listening to her. She cares about this organization. She wants to do more.'

So really start to own that. And you're going to see opportunities just open up for you just because you're taking your own professional development seriously. Just because you hired a coach, just because you joined a program like Executive Ahead Of Time. Doors and opportunities will open up for you.

#2: The second thing I want you to know is your company's professional development plan has nothing to do with you.

So this is the second thing that I know that you don't know.

So many people tell me that their company already has a professional development plan and they're following it and they're working with H.R. to kind of figure out...they're they're tagged as a high potential leader and such and such and such and such and such. So your timeline, your desire for more, does not match what their timeline is for you, right?

So H.R. organizations want to need to, need to, put on a good front. And there are a lot of organizations that are really incredible. And it's not just a front. They really, really, truly want to support their employees, want to give them opportunities. But one of the reasons that there aren't as many minorities in higher level executive positions is because the rubber doesn't meet the road. So on the surface, they care about your professional development. Certainly in press releases they do. And they might offer courses that support that. But if you still feel like you're stuck, it's because they're not actually pushing you. Because you know what they actually care about? They care about their bottom line. They care about you hitting your targets. They care about you doing your work and doing a great job at your work. And you getting a promotion, you getting into a higher level executive position, is not their top priority. You are the only person who cares about you. Seriously.

So start to think about that. And I really want you to understand, if you're relying on your professional development plan to get ahead. If you're relying on your performance reviews to get you to that next level, you ain't going to see it right. You're still going to be sitting exactly where you are wondering what the heck happened.

So put yourself into the driver's seat. Use the opportunities in front of you. Certainly.Use all of their resources, but then take matters into your own hands. I see this time and time again. So it's something that I see that you don't see.

So this goes into the third one...

#3: Nobody else cares about your promotion. So this is sort of a part two, right? You're the only person who cares about you getting promoted. And that's a good thing. It's OK. So just know that it's your job. It's your job to put yourself out there. If you want to be in a higher level leadership position, if you feel like you want to get the recognition that you deserve, if you want to get paid for your ideas instead of the hours that you put in at work, if you want to build out a stronger team, if you want to create boundaries, if you want to have success once you make it into that position, this is up to you.

So going back to my Susan story at the beginning of this. Her boss is basically offering her the CFO position. He's offering the promotion to her, But it's up to her to own what that position is going to look like. And she is so lucky that she has a boss that is willing to create that for her. But if she doesn't ask for it, if she doesn't lay out the plan, if she doesn't create the org chart, he ain't going to create it for her. So that is your job. You need to care about your professional development and set yourself up for success.

The fourth thing that I want you to know is...

#4: If you have a situation at work where you feel like less than valued, or a person that really bothers you, or you feel like your boss always does X, Y, Z, and it drives you crazy or nobody cares about you. Whatever that situation is that causes emotional trauma in you. Whatever that situation is, once you stop worrying about that person or that situation, it goes away. So this is something that I know that you don't know. And the color is purple. You gotta stop worrying about the situation.

Now, I know this is easier said than done because it gets under your skin, but spend some time letting it go. Just spend a week. 'I'm not going to let this person bother me.' And one of the biggest ways that you can do that is to stop engaging with them.

So they send you the email. You feel like you have to respond with a five paragraph email back. Don't. Respond with a two sentence email back.

OK, now you might still be upset. You won't be able to let it go, but stop engaging in the situation. Stop making it worse for yourself. Once you give yourself that space, that distance, then you're going to see what choices do you need to make about that particular situation. OK?

So I want you to start to be willing to let whatever situation at work, whatever is bothering you, be willing to just drop it a little bit. And the thing that I know that you don't know is that, once you start doing it, it starts to dissolve.

It's sort of like the bully on the playground. The bully likes to bully you because it gets you riled up, right? I know this firsthand because I was an extremely passionate, emotional person growing up and my brother loved to pick on me. Why? Because I was really good at being picked on. I got very, very upset, and it never made sense to me that if I just stopped engaging him, then he would stop.

The funny thing is, is that in my older age, I just stop engaging. He doesn't pick on me so much anymore. But it's sort of that thing. We need to give a little bit of space because the only person who is losing when you engage in those types of situations is you. Right? You're losing. You are losing out.

#5: The fifth thing that I know that you don't know is that you can set boundaries and delegate to your boss.

Now, this certainly never occurs to you. It doesn't occur to most of my clients until we start working on it. But think about it. What if you stopped also engaging with your boss?

So let me give you a really good example of this. Is that the first step in the process of becoming the Executive Ahead Of Time is getting yourself out of the weeds. And one of the ways that you're going to do that is literally through your communication. Not time management at first. Eventually, we're going to manage our time better and say no to meetings and create those stronger boundaries. But in the beginning, it's just changing our communication style.

So what this is: looks like is you're having a conversation with your boss. Your boss is always asking you for the details, always pulling you into the weeds. So you think. And what you're going to do is instead of responding with all the details, you're going to respond with the high level. And then you're going to say something to her: 'If you'd like to know more, I'm happy to give you the details, but this is basically the overview.'

And so that is a way that you can start setting boundaries with your boss today. Today, you can set these boundaries. And again, going back to the professional development conversation, your boss is actually going to start to respect you more.

So the feedback that all of my students are getting when they start to speak in this way is that their boss doesn't actually want to know the details, that their boss actually says: 'Wow, that was a really great meeting.'

So this is what I see over and over and over again. And you just have to do it in order to start believing it. But once you do it, you're going to believe it. You're going to be like: 'Oh my God, I can't believe it. I can't believe I haven't been doing this all along.'.

And the same way goes with you have the ability to delegate to your boss. You can say something to your boss like: 'Hey, why don't you attend this meeting and represent us? Because I'm actually going to attend these three other meetings so that you don't have to go. But I think this fits your wheelhouse a little bit more.'.

So think about that. When you can start to have conversations with your boss as if your boss is your peer and not somebody very important, untouchable, really high above you, telling you what to do all the time, treat your boss like your peer. The respect follows. So when I say treat my boss like my peer, I'm not saying be a shitty person to them. So remember, when you're pushing back, when you're creating these boundaries, it's all with authority and confidence along the way. So it's not being angry or saying: 'No, I'm not going to do that.' You're finding a way to do that confidently and clearly and specifically. So this is the way you're going to start to do that.

#6: The sixth thing that I know that you don't know is that you are not actually going for a promotion.

So I talked before about waiting and following your professional development plan. This is sort of in line with that.

If you meet a successful executive, somebody who is in a really high level position, oftentimes they will list out the things that they did to get there. And it's a good it's a good exercise, actually, to ask them what they do to get there. And I'm not talking about that you have to work around the clock. I'm just saying that you have to start acting smarter. And really be taking action weekly towards actively maximizing your career. This is what being a corporate badass means. Is that you're both really great at your job and you're really great at managing your career. You're doing it deliberately, you're making choices on the regular for your career and not just to be good at your job.

So, again, the thing I see that you don't see is that you're not actually going for a promotion. And it's going to piss you off. You're going to be like: 'Yes, I am. I want a promotion so bad.'.

I'm like: well, your actions don't match it. And so really start to ask yourself and listen to these podcast episodes and say: OK, am I really going for a promotion or am I just spending time and focusing on my job and making sure that I'm good at my job and putting in the hours for my job, or am I deliberately managing my career and my life?

#7: And the seventh thing that I know that you do not know is that you can have skip level conversations with your boss's boss. As much as you want.

And here is why: you are allowed to talk about your professional development with other people. So many people don't want to have the conversation with the boss's boss or other executives that are really high above them because they feel like they're going behind somebody's back.

But if you're talking about your professional development, if you're getting advice from them, from a career standpoint, as opposed to going above your boss to ask for questions about your job. That is going above your boss. That is going around them. So sometimes we're inclined, like our boss is blocking us, not from a professional development standpoint, but from a work standpoint, or you don't have a great relationship with your boss. So you want to go to your boss's boss to get them to solve your problems and to help you through some of these obstacles. That's not what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is mentoring style conversation. So I created a process that I teach inside of Executive Ahead Of Time called '15-Minute Ally Meetings.' And in this process, I teach you exactly how to have these skip level conversations. Exactly how to have regular professional development conversations with your CEO if you want to. You can do that. You are allowed to do that.

So that's the seventh and final thing that I know that you don't know, is that you're allowed to have skip level conversations with anybody who the heck you want to. And I encourage you to do so.

How much fun was this? There are so many things that I know that you don't know. And I'm so glad that you now know them.

So #1: executives love That you are getting coaching or that you join programs like Executive Ahead Of Time. They love it. They love it. They love it.

#2: Your company's professional development plan for you has nothing to do with you.

#3: They don't actually, and this is number three, care about you getting a promotion. You're the only one who cares about it. So you have to take matters into your own hands.

#4: Once you stop worrying about that person or that situation, it actually goes away. Isn't that amazing? Once you let things go, once you say: 'Screw it, I'm going to stop engaging...' they actually go away. It's super true.

#5: You can set boundaries and you can delegate to your boss. How great is that? And once you start to do that, you can get respect and they start to see you as a peer, which essentially means as somebody who is ready to get promoted into a senior executive leadership position.

#6: You are not actually going for a promotion. And I know this because I know what it takes to get promoted into senior executive leadership positions, and many of you guys are going about it the wrong way. But that's the good news, right? It means that it's not helpless. It means that it's not about you. You're just doing the wrong things. You're going about it the wrong way. And I can help you.

#7: You can talk to your boss's boss about your professional development. In fact, that is one of the steps that it's going to take to get you into that higher level leadership position.

So that's it. Those are seven things that I see that you don't see, but now you do. How great is that?

So after listening to this episode, I would love, love, love to hear from you. Please connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm at Stacy Mayer. Connect with me and shoot me a little personal message and let me know which one of these you were like: 'Oh my gosh, I can no longer unsee that. I now know exactly what I need to do to get ahead.'

And if you really go for it, write us a review. Please go to iTunes. Not only do I love the reviews because it tells me that this work actually matters and that it's making a difference in your life, but it helps other corporate women and male minority leaders find this podcast. Because, as I've said today, there is something different that you can start doing to get yourself promoted into those higher level leadership positions. And I am honored to help you get there.

Thank you so much for listening and have a wonderful day.

Bye!