What You'll Learn:
- The three steps you must take to never be passed over for a promotion again
- How your emotions are holding you back from acting like a senior executive leader right now
- The three critical aspects of advocating for yourself
- Why stopping and slowing down is the key to overcoming frustration
- How to use the frustration of being passed over for a promotion in a way that will actually benefit your career
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Maximize Your Career. I'm your host, Stacy Mayer. And super excited, as always, to be here with you again this week.
Can you believe it? We are already in full swing in 2021. I am so happy for you and I hope that your year has gotten off to a great start. Mine sure has. I actually opened up the doors for Executive Ahead of Time, my six-week group coaching intensive that sets established corporate leaders like you to make sure that you're never passed over for a promotion again.
And I opened up the doors in January, and it has been really exciting to see the people coming in for our next small group. And one of the things that gets me really excited is that they go ahead, as soon as you register for this program, you automatically get access to all of the training modules so you can do them at your own pace. You can work on them as you go. And that way, when we get into the group coaching on January 20th, you guys are fired up, ready to go. You have questions and you're ready to take action.
Now, I really want to make sure that you're able to join us in our next group. If you're ready and you're listening to this and you're like: 'What does that even mean to become the Executive Ahead of Time? And what is this course all about? So as I mentioned just a second ago, this course sets you up to make sure that you never get passed over for a promotion. Again, like I know you, you are somebody who works really hard. You're great at your job. Yet somehow it seems like you're not able to get ahead, that you're not able to get the recognition that you deserve, that you get passed over for promotions and promotions, that other people are moving up the ranks. But you can't seem to transition into senior executive leadership. Guess what? This is not your fault. It doesn't mean that you are ready to become an executive leader. It just means that you don't have the tools to properly advocate for yourself. So inside Executive Ahead of Time, I teach you how to think and communicate like a senior executive leader so that you can show the executive team that you are in fact ready for that next level promotion, because it's really difficult to see what is actually getting in our way.
And there are some simple tools, some simple things that I have found throughout the years working with executives to get them promoted, that they're like, oh my gosh, why didn't I do this sooner? Why didn't I realize this? This is so simple. I didn't know that's what I was doing. I didn't know that's how I was blocking my success. And so I really strongly encourage you. This is super easy way to get started and to start questioning and asking yourself and really exploring, you know, what it might actually be that's keeping you from that next level position. So at the end of the last group, I actually asked each of the participants to share with us what it meant to them to become the Executive Ahead of Time. We had huge wins even in the very first week of the program.
This program really works and it works very quickly for people. And I wanted them to reflect back and to think, oh, how did I change throughout the course of even just the first six weeks? So one of the participants said, you're already operating at that level above and not only operating at your current level, hoping for that chance. You have to show the executive team that you're already doing it, that you're operating at that senior executive level. Another participant, when asked what is Executive Ahead of Time mean to her, she said, you're responsible for your own career path, managing your relationship with your peers, with your stakeholders, really articulating your vision, doing your homework with your boss, making sure that your boss understands the work not at a detailed level, but adds, I have this taken care of level.
And another participant said, treating yourself as you would somebody else, you were trying to move forward. The whole reason you want to be a leader is because you want to make the whole team better. It'll make the whole product. Whatever you do when you become the Executive Ahead of Time, it makes everybody better. So this is what it means. And if you were listening to any of those and you thought even just for a second, like, yes, that is me, that is what I want to experience.
I want to experience the ability to take control of my career. I want to operate two or three levels up so that I can show the executive staff that I am ready for that senior executive position.
And I want to trust myself. I want to do my homework. I want to have higher level conversations with my boss. You can do all of this just by joining my six week group, Coaching Intensive. But don't wait. We start our group January 20th, so go to ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com, get yourself registered. That's www.ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com.
Now, in today's episode, I'm actually going to be talking about what it means to never get passed over for a promotion again. Like how you're actually going to do that. How are you going to ensure that you are ready for that next level promotion? And I'm going to do that by focusing on Module 3 of Executive Ahead of Time: Managing Your Emotions.
This is the meatiest module of all of the modules, because it is such a sticking point for people. Whenever someone is seeking out professional help of some sort, it's usually because something is going wrong, they've hit a wall, they're very frustrated. I used to do meditation for a very long time, and I belong to a meditation community. And one of the things that they would talk about is people don't necessarily join a meditation community when things are going great. They join when it's their last straw, when they feel very frustrated. So most people who come in to either Executive Ahead of Time or hire me as a 1:1 coach, they're coming to me because they're frustrated, because they've hit a wall, because they know that they can be doing better. And so working and teaching them how to manage their emotions is such an incredible part of the process.
And so I'm going to focus today's episode on that and exactly why when you start to manage your emotions, you actually:
- Become the Executive Ahead of Time and,
- Also ensure that you never get passed over for a promotion again, because that's really why you're frustrated.
So maybe you're frustrated because you were recently passed over for promotion. And so I want to give you a different perspective on that.
I have a client that I've been working with actually for about a year and a half now. And when we first started working together, she said to me, this was like our second meeting, she was so upset at our second meeting. And I was like: 'What's going on?'
And she said: 'They hired someone. I have a new boss coming in.'
And I was like: 'Oh, ok.'
And she said: 'Oh, this is just so unfair. I thought that was the position that I wanted and I was so frustrated. So I immediately went to my boss and I had a conversation with him and I said: why wasn't I even considered for that position? And he said: Oh, don't worry, you don't want that position. It's not for you anyway. And she's like: no, I want I wanted that position. Why would you take that away from me?'
And the first thing that I asked her was: 'Did you ask for that position?'.
And she said: 'Well, I mean, sort of. I told them that I was, of course, interested in moving up.'
And I said: 'Well, did your actions change? Did you show them that you were ready for that position?'.
And and so then we really started to explore it and she became suddenly less and less frustrated. She was less angry at them for "not giving it to her" because she realized she didn't do everything that she could have done to actually advocate for herself for that position.
And by advocating for yourself, I mean in three parts. We're both talking about what we're doing and then we're also showing up in a different way. So that's why Executive Ahead of Time is focused on both how we're communicating and then actually how we're showing up, how we're thinking like a senior executive leader. And so we instantly started focusing on what is the relationship that she wanted to create with her new boss.
So think about yourself. You get passed over for a promotion. You're annoyed, you're frustrated. Your new boss comes in. How are you going to treat your new boss? How are you going to react to this person that "just took your job?"
You're going to do one of two things.
- You're going to try and protect your ego. And so you're going to go into those conversations just being either overcompensating for your value and all these amazing things that you can do...
- ...or you're going to sit back with your arms crossed in front of you and just be like: 'Whatever. Nobody cares about me at this job. And I don't really care either. And I'm just kind of stuck here until something better comes along.'
So can you see how neither one of those approaches actually works in your favor? And so what I coached her to do was instead get really excited about this opportunity to work with a new boss and to really think to herself: 'What if I had the most amazing relationship with this new boss? What would that look like? How would I need to show up to her?'.
And she did. And this literally changed everything for her. Her career started skyrocketing after that. She created this amazing relationship beyond her wildest dreams with her new boss. The leadership team, the executives that had "passed her over" were impressed by the way that she was showing up and not so frustrated and angry or whatever.
We think that frustrated and angry has to show itself by yelling at people or screaming at people in meetings. But it's internal. It's the way that we hold ourselves. It's our energy. It's the way that we're showing up.
And so she totally just turned that around and it helped her so much. It helped her problem solved. It helped her see what was actually happening for her team, for her leadership. It helped her realize: 'OK, how can I start to take back control of my own career and make decisions from that place?'
So if you're not somebody who's actually been passed over for a promotion, you might be someone who gets turned down a lot.
I actually received an email recently from a corporate leader and I want to share with you a little bit of her story and what I read when I was reading this very long email. And I want to share with you what I have offered to her in terms of coaching and how she can start to turn this around, managing her emotions, so that she can start to become the Executive Ahead of Time.
So in her case, what has happened is she has advocated for resources several times. She has made a plea to get resources in terms of a team, in terms of financial resources. She has tried to do this in several different ways. She has also gone through three or four bosses just in the last two years. And she feels like every time she makes a little bit of progress forward, something in the organization pushes her back. And in this particular case, she had received a promise that she would be able to build out a team. And then management came down from the top and took all of that away from her. And so now she feels like she got a demotion and she is very frustrated. She also has a new boss once again that she has to work with, and it just feels very hopeless.
Another thing that she mentioned in her email to me was that she feels like is that she actually wants to stay at her job. She likes it there. She likes this company. And this happens all the time. I want you to love your company. I know that you want to stay at your organization, but yet you feel pigeonholed. You feel like: 'Well, if I stay here, I have to give up on my growth opportunities. I have to work 50, 60, 75 hours a week. I have to be frustrated all of the time or I have to look for another job.'.
Those feel like your two choices. And so I'm going to offer you a third option that's neither of those two choices.
So in terms of her managing her emotions, so the first thing I could tell when I read this email is that the frustration is real. It's raw. It's real.
And so instead of looking at it like: I just have to give up on my growth opportunities, what I want her to do instead is to give up on fighting it so hard.
And this is what I mean.
We have to, as senior executive leaders, learn how to get the big picture. Learn how to think strategically. I'm actually holding my hands up here so that you can get this umbrella view, the sky high view of what's actually happening at your organization. I want you to do the same thing for your career, for what is actually happening.
1. So my first suggestion for her in terms of managing her emotions is to stop.
So she's trying to solve this problem with frustration, with annoyance, like basically giving up on her growth. And so what I would advise her is to just slow down. Let's stop asking for the team. Right. It's not working. The way that you're asking isn't working. Let's really look at what's happening at the organization. So all of this just really involved. Stop talking, slow down. OK, so continue doing your job, which is what she's going to do anyway. And then I'm just going to like take all of that frustration and put it over here in a box. And we're going to work on some other things. We're going to take a look at... I don't know. She didn't say this in her email. What does she actually want in her career? I couldn't tell what level she was at her organization for her email. What is the impact that she has actually made? Why does she like working at this organization?
This isn't just positive thinking. This is actually telling us why we are doing what we're doing. And it's reminding ourselves and getting us managing our emotions and getting us out of that frustration and focusing on what actually matters.
So really thinking about: what are those wins? What are the things that she has actually accomplished? What are the ways that she can do more of that?
The next thing I want to do is I'm going to coach her essentially on essentialism. Which is a really fantastic book. And I want you guys to check it out. I actually have recently been told that I need to read it again. Because in our own lives, we can always pare back and we can always say: 'Ok, what's most important?'
2. So the other thing that I want her to look at is what can she stop doing? So she's spinning her wheels trying to show them and prove to them that she's really, really great and thinking: 'Ok, if I can do more work, then I can show them that I need more support.'
I want her to think more strategically. Again, big picture. So I want her to stop doing a few things and stop going to that meeting, stop showing up. Let's slow down. Let's figure out what actually matters.
3. And then the third thing that I want her to start doing is figure out on her own, with her current resources, with her current situation, how she can begin delegating. And delegating does not mean to a person. So if you feel like you have nobody to delegate to, if you feel like you can't really delegate to anyone around you. Great, find somebody else. Find something else. That's part of that essentialism. Stop going then. Delegate to the ether. Like delegate to next year. Whatever that is for you, really get smart.
And here's the thing. If she starts managing her emotions, stop being frustrated, start looking at what's actually working. If she really understands how to prioritize, how to think more strategically, if she really starts to look at this and to say: Ok, how can I start to delegate now, not when I am given those resources this is what happens: She becomes the Executive Ahead of Time. She feels better. She starts to make a bigger impact. Now she can really look at it and she can say: 'Ok, well. Maybe I do actually want to leave this organization now.' But she's going to do it from a place of of love for herself. She's going to do it from a place that seems like: OK, I have tried, I have worked on this. I have become that Executive Ahead of Time.
So now she is really setting herself up for that next level of success, which is your ability to never be passed over for a promotion again. This doesn't mean that you won't be told 'no', it means that you understand where you're going so you can pivot more quickly.
And this leads me to my third and final point of today's episode about how you could never get passed over for promotion again. And it's that transitioning into senior executive leadership, becoming that senior executive leader, has nothing to do with your title change.
Now, I can prove it because I meet c-suite executives that are just as frustrated as you or whoever in the senior management director level, vice president level positions, because they have no influence, they have no autonomy, they're always in the weeds. They're always frustrated. Nobody listens to them. And so this tells me that just having a title doesn't matter.
I have met senior managers that have more resources, are happier at work, are actually getting promoted on a regular basis in terms of pay increase or responsibility or taking on projects or having more face time with leadership. They're loving their job and they're really making an impact at their organization, but they don't necessarily have the title to match. But they're making an impact at a really high level.
And so that tells me that it's not about the title. What it is about is the person that you become. When you become that Executive Ahead of Time, you are embodying what it means to be an executive.
This is the work that I do. This is what I teach in in my Executive Ahead of Time program, in my 1:1 coaching, in my conversations in this podcast. Everything that I do is about teaching you how to embody executive leadership. How to think and communicate like a senior executive leader so that you can never get passed over for a promotion again. You know exactly where you're headed. You know exactly what to do. You can pivot on command. You thrive on challenging situations. You're able to make decisions. You're able to take time off and spend time with your family and live in abundance. This is all becoming the Executive Ahead of Time.
My biggest wish for you in 2021 is that you all understand this power and that you really start to implement the work that I'm talking about and really take advantage of everything that is possible to you once you can become Executive Ahead of Time.
This stuff works. It works and you will see results in just the first week of joining my group training program. If you like this podcast, I highly suggest that you run, don't walk. Our next group starts January 20th. Go to ExecutiveAheadOfTime.com, sign up. You will not be disappointed and you will have yourself set up for a really fantastic, guaranteed fantastic, no matter what is happening at your organization, no matter how much people are crapping all over you at your company right now, you are going to set yourself up for a truly fantastic 2021. I cannot wait to see you there, and have an amazing week.
About Your Host
Hi! I'm Stacy Mayer, a Certified Executive Coach and Promotion Strategist on a mission to bring more diversity to the leadership table by getting 1000 underrepresented corporate managers promoted into senior executive positions each year worldwide.
I help undervalued executives scale to the C-Suite using repositioning strategies that build your confidence and visibility, so you can earn the recognition and support you need from key stakeholders while embodying your unique leadership style.
My podcast “Women Changing Leadership with Stacy Mayer” tackles topics like executive communication, getting more respect in the workplace from challenging bosses and team members, and avoiding the common mistakes that sabotage career advancement.