Ep #158: Whole Self Series: Taking Your Marriage from Good to Great with Maggie Reyes
As you increase your corporate badass-ness and enter a whole new chapter of your career and the impact you are going to make in the world, you may come to realize that you are entering a whole new chapter in your marriage as well.
Which is exactly why I invited Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor, Maggie Reyes, onto this episode of Women Changing Leadership with Stacy Mayer.
Maggie specializes in helping driven, ambitious women (like you!) create their best marriages.
She’s the author of the best-selling book, Questions for Couples Journal, AND she also happens to be one of the most lovable and kind badasses I know.
In this episode, Maggie and I dive into practical strategies and lots of inspiration that you can use to move your marriage from good to great.
This is the fourth interview in my 5-part Whole Self Series.
In each episode, I am bringing you a special guest who will help you not only be a badass in your career, but a badass in every area of our life.
I’m so excited for Maggie to share all her wisdom with you!
Let’s get started.
Want to receive the recognition you deserve, step into a higher leadership position, get paid for your ideas instead of the hours you put in at work, and enjoy more time, freedom, energy, and joy? Then you need to get your hands on a copy of Promotions Made Easy. Get your copy here.
What You'll Learn:
- Maggie’s secret to success (hint: you need to stop waiting to be invited to the table)
- The role a powerful marriage has on your success
- Why you need to eradicate low-grade annoyance in your marriage and career
- How to grow your career by sharing more
- Questions you can use to grow closer with your partner
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Ep #155: Whole Self Series: Becoming a Balanced Working Mom with Rebecca Olson
- Ep #156: Whole Self Series: Building Your Badass Leadership Brand with Kathryn Morrison
- Ep #157: Whole Self Series: Setting (and Achieving) Big, Audacious Goals with Mary Crafts
- Read Maggie’s Questions for Couples Journal: 400 Questions to Enjoy, Reflect, and Connect with Your Partner
- Listen to Maggie's podcast, The Marriage Life Coach Podcast
- Visit MaggieReyes.com
- Follow Maggie on Instagram
- Connect with Maggie on LinkedIn
- Follow me on Instagram
- Connect with me on LinkedIn
- Join my group coaching intensive, Executive Ahead of Time
- Get your copy of my book, Promotions Made Easy: A Step-by-Step Guide to the Executive Suite
- Go to StacyMayer.com/Strategies to join my email list and receive my email series, Seven Promotion Strategies that Your Boss Won’t Tell You
Stacy Mayer: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Women Changing Leadership.
I am so excited to be bringing you this week's guest who is actually part of the Whole Self Series that I'm giving you at the end of the year, where we're talking all things that help us be a greater leader. And today we're going to be talking about marriage and how we can have a better marriage with none other than the Maggie Reyes.
Maggie is a dear friend of mine, a colleague that I have known for several years. She is one of the most lovable and kind badasses that I know. She has married these two qualities in such a unique and beautiful way of just fully embodying herself, but also fully embodying her power. So as you're listening to today's episode, I want you to look for some of those clues, because I know that many of you are afraid not to be seen as nice when we start to embrace our power. And Maggie is the epitome of both. And so we're going to be diving into that as well.
Now I'm excited to let Maggie share all of her wisdom with you. So to just get right into that, let me give a more formal introduction of her and then we can ask her all the great questions about her leadership along the way.
Maggie Reyes is a life coach and mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create the marriages of their dreams. Her playful and practical approach to love helps teach her clients the most effective ways to develop relationships that thrive. She lives in Miami, Florida, with her husband, Mariano, who is also super cute. And when you start following Maggie online, you're going to love the two of them. And she is the author of Questions for Couples Journal, an incredible journal that you need to get your hands on today because it offers you questions that you can begin to create a dialogue with your spouse. And I've already I asked my husband all kinds of questions from this journal, and it has helped tremendously. So I can't wait to just learn all the things. Thank you, Maggie. Thank you so much for being here.
Maggie Reyes: Well, thank you for the amazing introduction and presentation. I love that mix of sort of kindness with strength. I think all of us can access both at the same time. I think we live in a sort of patriarchal culture that tells us if we're strong, we have to be a certain way. And if we're kind, we have to be a certain way. And I just don't think that's true. So I love that you saw that in me and that we get to talk about that today. And for everyone listening, before i was a life coach, i worked in HR. So i can't wait to nerd out on some of those things and to talk about promotions because i know we're going to talk about marriage. We should totally talk about promotions.
Stacy Mayer: All right, that sounds great. Let's do all the things. This is going to be fantastic. So to get us kicked off, can you share with us some of your secrets to success and probably from a professional standpoint?
Maggie Reyes: Yeah. Let's see. So back when I was working in HR, one of the themes is having a seat at the table. It was all about the seat at the table, and I just kind of thought, I'm either going to make my own seat or make my own table. I didn't wait to be given a seat. Especially in HR, right? It's one of those departments that when it's working well, nobody notices. And when it's not working well, everybody has thoughts about it. And I was in a situation in my last professional role where my biggest internal client was a senior VP of operations. And I just had the thought: if this person and I don't become like full fledged allies, there's not even any point in me being here. So I didn't wait to be invited when I met him and we started building rapport and working together, I just declared myself an honorary member of his team. And I just said, Here's how I'm here to serve you. And here are the things that I'm going to do for you. And when can we meet? I would initiate the meetings, and he was used to a lot of people like avoiding meeting or postponing things or whatever. And anything that he would ask me, instead of saying no. I'd say: Well, these are the things we have to consider if we want to do that.
Maggie Reyes: So I was an HR and recruitment manager. I worked primarily in training and recruitment. Those were the two areas that I sort of had my hands in. And when we were recruiting for a position, for example, he'd say, I want a Ferrari. I say, okay, but you can't give me Hyundai salary with Ferrari qualifications. So I can find you your Ferrari. You get me the money, right? And I never said no. I didn't say, No, we can't do that. No, that's not possible. I just said, if you want that, this is what it's going to cost. Whether it was time, energy, money, whatever it was that the cost was going to be. And he was like, Oh, I could pay that cost. Okay, you do this and I'll do that, and then we'll meet again.
So I would say part of the secret to success is not waiting to be asked. With playfulness and love, not in a way that was overbearing and mean, but with playfulness and love, I was like: I'm an honorary member of your team. Here I am, right? And creating that environment where it was irresistible. He's like, You are an honorary member of my team. Let's meet, right? That kind of thing. So that I would say that's what comes to mind for today.
Stacy Mayer: I love that. You asked: do people still say that? And one of the things that I say a lot is having a voice at the table and the process that you're talking about is what actually creates that voice at the table. Because if we wait for the seat, we're not guaranteed a voice. We're just given a seat. Like in California, they have to have women on boards now. And so but and a lot of those women are quitting because they don't have a voice. We're given the the policy, the political system has given us the seat. But that doesn't always equal having a voice. And the process that you're talking about is owning your voice from the beginning. So if they're going to give you the seat, it's going to have you included in it.
Maggie Reyes: And here's something that I had to get over for myself that I think maybe somebody in your audience might relate to, which is I am naturally enthusiastic and friendly, and for many years in my career I was underestimated because people thought that enthusiasm and friendliness equated somehow stupidness or dumbness or lack of intellectual acumen.
And for the first part of my career, I really let that bother me. It kind of got under my skin. And then the second part of my career, my thought was: Let them underestimate me. It's fine. They'll figure it out. And I would just be myself. And then when we had meetings or had discussions or whatever, I would just give my critical analysis of a situation and they'd be like: how did that happen? And it's like, Oh, that's always been there.
So if you're listening to this and you want a promotion and you feel like you've been underestimated, just check. If you let it get under your skin, like there's a degree of we have to just let that go. Some people are always going to underestimate us. It just is what it is. And still embrace all parts of ourselves. Because I was like, I'm not going to go to work and pretend that I'm this very serious formal person and talk like this. That was just not me. And so when I sort of let myself loose a little bit more, that was just really helpful for my own mental health or my own wellbeing. And it just didn't bother me if I was underestimated. I still got promoted and a bunch of other things that I'm sure we can talk about.
Stacy Mayer: So what role has having a better marriage helped in your success today?
Maggie Reyes: So I think that for me, getting married was one of my dreams in life. Like everybody dreams of different things. I grew up with a single mom. My parents were divorced and never had that sort of union that I longed for. Like I didn't really have an example for that. So it wasn't one of my dreams.
So when I met my husband, many different things happened. One of the things that happened was I felt for the first time in my life, a very strong sense of rightness. When I was with him, it just felt like I'm with the right person at the right time and the right place. I just felt this overwhelming, like a wave of rightness. For some of you listening, you might have that with a family member, you might have that with a child, you might have that when you're cooking or when you're gardening or when you're walking, or you just feel like you're one with life in some way. And they just really felt that with him. And what it did for me was it revealed to me all the areas of my life that didn't feel that way.
Stacy Mayer: Oh yeah.
Maggie Reyes: And then I started investigating all the different areas that didn't... I had like a like a filter to look at, Oh, what doesn't match this feeling? And that was incredibly helpful because it was really in the investigation of that that I eventually started my own business, became a marriage coach. So I help type A women have better marriages. So my clients are like the people whose checklists have checklists. If you've ever written something you've already done on your checklist, just for the joy of crossing it out, that's my person.
Stacy Mayer: So I just had my heart leapt a little bit because I have seen reflected in the opposite a little bit for for my corporate badasses, where as they start to find their rightness at work, they start to have that voice. They feel included. What they notice is that their marriage is the place that is not so right. They notice that they're like, Wow, I'm starting to actually find that I have a lot of power, that I have a lot to bring to the conversation. And then I look at these other areas of my life and it doesn't feel so great and powerful and in control. That just came to mind when you were sharing.
Maggie Reyes: I can see, that can happen in any direction. And I think that when we're in a situation where we're saying yes to a lot of things that we really want to be saying no to at work, we're probably also doing that at home. And suddenly when we stop doing that and we only say yes to things that are yeses, and then we say no to things that are no, and then we do that at home. It does disrupt whatever the status quo was up until then. And for some people, they'll come even closer to their partners as they renegotiate the new status quo. And for some people, they may come to the conclusion that this partner is just not a match for this new chapter in their life.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah, So so one of the things that I really appreciate about the language when you talk about your marriage MBA program is, is this idea of a better marriage, which to me, it doesn't sound like it's a broken marriage. And I'm sure it certainly could be right. It's not to fix something, but it's also how do we go from good to great? And so I'd love to hear a little bit about that from you as well.
Maggie Reyes: Yeah. So I love the idea of going from good to great. Think about this at work. So many people, and I can think of so many colleagues I used to work with that had this. When you have this sort of low grade annoyance that doesn't go away. You go to work every day, and there's nothing necessarily bad happen that day, but you have this low grade annoyance that just doesn't go away. So typically a lot of my clients have that at home in their marriage. It's like their partners aren't jerks, it isn't terrible, but there's this low grade annoyance that just doesn't feel right. Or there's this one aspect of the relationship, but there's a lot of things that are working well where they have some partnership in some areas. But there's this one thing where it just doesn't go. And so that is when we think about going from good to great, it's like, well, what if we got that one thing aligned? What if we were able to just eradicate that low grade annoyance, if it wasn't your baseline anymore? That's how I think about it.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah, I, I could see that. That's really good. And then another thing that is an observation is that you don't shy away from the outward success of your marriage. So if you are coaching women or people in your marriage MBA program, you the assumption is they're looking to go from good to great, right? Or they're looking to go from not great at all to something. And but yet you're the example of this, I don't know, I haven't actually met your husband, but you guys seem pretty cool, you know, And it's like, oh, they've got it. They have it figured out. And I think for women at work, when we start to create that success, the next thing that creeps in is: I don't want anybody to know. I just got promoted to C-suite, but now I need to kind of be quiet or I actually have the most amazing boss and the most amazing situation, but I want to kind of squash it a little bit because the people around me are still in that funk and that ugly place. And I find that, by your example of being in this loving marriage, but what growth did you have to go through to be able to show up in that way? To just say, Yeah, I'm going to show it all again.
Maggie Reyes: I'm going to answer it kind of in two different ways. So first, I'm going to answer directly, but then I want to tell you about something that happened with money that I think is just really interesting for for the people in your audience. So I didn't grow up with a lot of personal examples of what it looked like for a couple to thrive. I'm from Miami and they grew up with Gloria and Emilio Estefan, I don't know them personally or anything, but I was like, Oh, a couple like that. They get along, that kind of thing. I had like these role models that were not in my personal awareness. So I started as a blogger, so I started blogging and then I started a podcast and I started coaching. And when I started, I was just like: Oh, I think that part of this is just telling people it's possible to actually like your husband, like just that is is of service to humanity.
Maggie Reyes: And I had talks with my husband about what what was okay for me to share, what was not okay for me to share and all that kind of stuff. And he's like, yeah, it's fine, you know? And then later, years later, now he he's come on photo shoots with me. So if you follow me on Instagram, I'm at the Maggie Reyes and you will see him. He's an engineer. He is not a model, he's just a dude. But he has so much fun. And you could tell we had so much fun taking those pictures. But I think for me, first of all, congruence is one of my values, personal values.
Maggie Reyes: So I always tell my clients, marriage coach got a marriage. So even in my program, we're taking two weeks off during the holidays and I'm going on a Christmas cruise with my husband and we're doing something really fun together. And and it's like those things are really important to me, to be practicing all the stuff that I'm teaching everybody is just one of my values. And then to just share that it's just possible to have that I think is so important.
I didn't have to do a lot of mindset work about sharing it because I felt such a compulsion that it was necessary because of the examples I didn't have growing up, that I just felt: this matters. Even if we never work together, you just can see people who love each other and what that sounds like.
But I will tell you where I did have a lot of trouble with in talking about money. Because at the time that I worked in each HR, it was like blasphemy to talk about your salary, how much money you made, but your bonus was like, This was the most highly confidential information like ever. And I came into the online coaching world where the school where I studied gives awards for different tiers of of revenue that you generate and where a lot of the leaders in my field openly talk about how much money they make and all these kinds of things. And I was coming from a background where that is not done and here's what I did. And for anybody who's struggling with this, here's something you can think about if you want to do is I started just telling one person. This is how much money I made last year. I'm practicing talking about money without throwing up, and you seem like a safe person. So I'm going to tell you, I literally would tell my friends. And my friends are kind of used to me being kooky and bringing up things like that. I'm just going to tell you.
And I did that over and over again with several people that I just trusted and felt comfortable. So the person who has like a great boss, right, who's one person who's already in your circle, that you can just tell I love my boss so much and just get the words out of your mouth as a place to grow? So I did that for a while, and then I got invited on a podcast that has millions of downloads to talk about the first time I made 100,000. And then I was invited to another podcast to talk about the first time I made $200,000. And I was like, Oh my gosh, right? I went from like, We never talk about this. It is basically a sin, to let me just tell anyone, right? And so that took me baby steps, expanding my capacity or my tolerance level little by little until I was ready to go bigger. So for everybody listening, if there's something that, you know you want to share but you feel like you can't, what is the baby step in that direction is always a good idea.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah, absolutely. Like I have seen so much growth literally through a single share from a woman who said I took active steps to get this promotion. Like literally,that share in and of itself versus the hiding, which is this promotion happened to me. Oh, thank you. Thank you for the congratulations. And then what I coach them to do is like, own it. You got that promotion. And that's part of the growth. Because it shows them they can continue doing that. You can continue building wealth, you can continue growing. And it's this example to everyone else who's watching you, because lots of people are always watching us, whether we're on social media or just with our family. And they're watching for that. And to say, you know, I negotiated that salary, I earned that versus just like I waited until somebody gave it to me.
Maggie Reyes: Let's talk about promotions, Stacy.
Stacy Mayer: Let's do it.
Maggie Reyes: Let's do it. So I was once with a company where I worked there for several years, and I knew that I would never get promoted. Like I put myself up. It was a very large structure where there is a lot of like process around how people got promoted. And I put myself a couple times and I understood, I don't know, the third time maybe, that I put myself up for something and I wasn't chosen. And then I saw the person that was chosen and I was like, they don't have any qualification that I don't already have. And it was clear to me that it was just never going to happen to me there. And so I want anybody who's listening now to think about. When you come to that conclusion, sometimes you have to leave where you are to get to get the promotion. So I went and I got another job in a different place. And I was coming in already making more money. So that was great. But I knew that I wanted to be promoted at some point. And what happened in that job was someone got promoted in a different department, unrelated to me, really, but had much less experience in her area. And it was kind of like one of those promotions that didn't make logical sense, like one of those maybe somebody knew somebody or something happened.
Maggie Reyes: And I had a lot of feelings and a lot of emotions about it. And they didn't have you to call my coach right then. And I sat with myself and at first I got calm and then I went to my boss and I said, you know, we know that this happened and this other department. It doesn't affect us. It really has nothing to do with me. But I want to know what milestones I would need to reach to be considered for a promotion for what I do and what I contribute and the level of experience that I have. And so I didn't go attacking. Oh, it's unfair or it shouldn't be the politics of the company or any of that. I just said, What milestones do I need to reach for this to happen for me? And I'm very grateful. My boss was very receptive to that. And she said, let me think on it. Let me get back to you. Let's keep talking about this. And I think within a year I got promoted. So I just want everybody to know sometimes you've got to leave and sometimes you have to be as strategic as you are with other projects that you do and the people that you manage, you have to do that for your career.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, when you were talking about the other woman who got promoted and you're like, Hey, I don't know, somebody something she knew somebody. I'm like: yes, actually. And, you know what, she might have asked, right?
So it's this thing where we start to just get real. How do people get promoted? They create a plan. They have conversations with their boss. Just like you did. And you finally just said, oh, you know what? I'm going to own this. I'm going to drive this. I'm going to create this seat for myself and I'm gonna have the conversation. It's just so important. I love that. It's so good.
And just like, you know, our our promotions as well. I think from you, literally, I've learned that marriages also don't just happen. We don't just have an amazing marriage because we got lucky and found the perfect partner. And so many of us had that initial spark and that feeling, like this is it. And my life, everything is right in the world like you described. And I think that's where your your questions for couples journal really comes in because it's just questions to connect. Can you tell us more about this book and maybe even how I came to be and just like it's such a brilliant, simple, so simple and yet incredibly impactful piece of work.
Maggie Reyes: I love talking about it. So yes, I can tell you all about it. So first of all, as a coach, I ask questions for a living. One good question can change your life, right? That's just the bottom line. One good question can just put you in a whole new direction. So I love questions just in general. And my husband and I, when we first got married, we live in Florida, we live in Miami, and we go to Orlando, we go to Disney, we visit friends in North Florida. Florida is a very large state, we go on a lot of road trips. And we started asking each other questions from different, different books. They weren't relationship focused. They were just different questions.
So we already had the habit and the enjoyment of what happens when you spark an interesting conversation with someone. And when I started out as a blogger, I, I had started coaching and I was still writing my blog then. And one of my clients said on a call, I just don't know what to talk about anymore. I just don't know what to talk about anymore. And I took that to heart and I coached her on the thing. And then I wrote an article that was like 15 conversation starters for couples, and I was like, For anybody who has this issue, here you go. Here's why it's important. And the reason it's important for everyone listening is there's a fabulous institute called the Gottman Institute that researches what makes couples thrive and what doesn't. And then they create interventions based on what they find, people who are struggling and people who are succeeding in thriving in a relationship that feels good, that feels delicious. And what they have found is that one of the characteristics of couples who thrive is that they know each other's interior world, like your partner is not a mystery to you. You know, their hopes, their dreams, their fears, those kinds of things.
So questions allow us to get to know each other as interior world. It's what that helps us do. So I wrote those 15 conversations starters, I never thought about it again, lived on the Internet, and a few years later, several years later, and this is where everyone in your career right now, when you do what's in front of you to do, you work on that extra project, you volunteer for that committee, you do the things, what will happen is you'll look back later and you'll see how all of those skills came together in your career and they make so much sense. So if somebody is thinking right now, what's in front of me to do and you're having to think about whether you want to do it or not, just remember it doesn't have to be linear. It's all going to make sense later. Because I wrote that article and many years later my publisher reached out to me and said: we're working on a questions book and would you like to work on it? And it ended up I didn't end up working on that particular book that they were working on, but we stayed in touch and when this book came up, I was like, that's it. That's my book. That's what I'm doing. It's happening. But it was a product of just doing what was in front of me to do right now at each turn, which for so many of us in our careers, we have to remember that. We want to skip some parts. Don't skip the parts.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah. So a personal story came to mind as you were sharing and in this reminds me of a larger theme that I knew even before this conversation. I was like, I want to talk to Maggie about this and hear what she thinks. And I was thinking about traditional power dynamics in couples, like the patriarchal power dynamic. The man makes more money than the woman. And one of the really fascinating, incredibly fascinating things is that my husband will tell me in words that he wants me to be the most successful. If he can be a stay at home dad, he would love that more than anything. He wants my business to thrive. He loves the work that I do. All of these words come out of his mouth on the regular, yet I still experience from the other side this power dynamic in the need, not through his words, but in the need to take care of him or let him know that his business is or his work that he does as an engineer as well is also successful or, maybe not share that side of our our couple hood to the rest of the world who maybe still has that traditional power dynamic. And I have seen this over and over again, that in secret, the women, the corporate badasses that I work with will tell me that their husband actually doesn't work, but it feels like I'm the first person they've ever told this to. And so I was just curious. This is a big question to unpack, but there is so much to it, and I think first piece is always awareness that this could be what's happening for you as you generate more success as a woman. That this is the traditional model that's being shown to us and we're actually breaking that mold in some ways. And how can we do that?
Maggie Reyes: Yeah, so we do it one one day at a time when disclosure at a time when decision at a time. We always break it down to its simplest component and do that. I love continuing education. You are listening don't know me but Stacy knows. She knows. So I did an advanced certification and feminist coaching where I really learned so much more about this. And one of the tools that I developed in the coaching that I do in the Marriage MBA, which is my coaching program, is called Internalized Patriarchy Relationship Inventory. And we literally look at these different categories and we look what is the basis of like what is the patriarchy? It's just that men are valued more than women. And if we look at the United States, you may be listening to us in different countries in the world and many countries of the world, there is patriarchal structures where men's decisions are valued,more, men's positions are valued more by how we pay them. We defer to men in many different ways. That's what it means when I talk about the patriarchy. Just to give a very simple example if somebody's like: what do you mean, what is that?
So what happens is, it's the ocean that we swim in and there are cultural narratives that we internalize. So the example that you gave or your husband would be delighted to be a stay at home dad, but you still have desires around that that may be different. It's we have internalized what we've seen on TV, religious narratives, cultural narratives, family narratives, all these narratives, what it should be like for a man or a woman to be together. We've internalized this and it becomes our thoughts, and they really do belong to us.
Maggie Reyes: So the way we dismantle them, number one, is having conversations like this one and just questioning: but what works for us? What do we want? What makes us happy? How do we want to live? That's that's how we start dismantling it. Is one of us at a time. And then if enough of us do it, if you have millions of conversations like this, that's how we disrupt the patriarchal society. So the more women that get promoted, the better.
What you are doing every day when everybody who listens to this podcast, you are chipping away at patriarchal structures by growing your career and by changing how business is done. Because another thing that women do when they get into positions of power, as you already know, is we work differently. We we have a different mindset. We honor humanity differently, we consider things differently. And that's how we change things is by being in those positions of power.
So that's what I would say is, is for anyone who has that situation and you feel like you need to keep it a secret, in some cultures, maybe you don't want to tell anybody, maybe you do. just tell your closest inner circle. It kind of does depend on what your capacity to feel discomfort is, and that's okay. I just want to say to everybody, if you don't want to tell anybody, that's not a problem. But if you feel the impulse to share it with someone, little by little, you can work your way up to just being really open about how you're living because you become an example for someone else to live that way, too.
Stacy Mayer: Absolutely. So speaking of being an example, you are an example to everyone who is listening to this podcast. But why do you personally and continue to feel motivated to have that voice at the table? Because that's what you're doing, that's what you're claiming. And what is it that drives you personally?
Maggie Reyes: That's so interesting. I think about it in so many different directions, I feel. Compelled and delighted by seeing someone come into more of themselves in their marriage. It just delights me. When I first became a coach, one of my coach at the time said: what could you talk about and never get tired of talking about it? I was like: Oh, I think relationships might be the thing. And it was very sort of not... I didn't spend a lot of time deliberating. I'm like: I think marriage. And it's been now, I don't know, since 2011, 2012, I'm still not tired.
So for me, it's like a puzzle. It's vastly fascinating to me the way we come together, the mindsets that we have that pull us apart, how we heal from those things, for me is like this endless puzzle that I find just fascinating as an exercise itself and then being with other humans and in community with other humans and having deep conversations that we don't have other places. And I'm sure that's the same for you. The types of conversations you have about work and promotions and leadership. It's just a deeper level that just personally gratifying to me. So those are some of the things I would say.
Stacy Mayer: I love that. So if you're looking at and having a conversation with a woman who is looking to advance her career in 2023 and she still feels a little bit stuck, what would be any sort of final words of advice or wisdom that you would like to offer?
Maggie Reyes: I mean, if you're listening to this podcast and you haven't already gotten Stacy's book, Promotions Made Easy, then do that first.
Maggie Reyes: If you're listening to the podcast already and you don't have the book, get the book.
Here's what I'd say. Think about what kind of life you want to live, what kind of projects you want to work on, what would excite you and delight you at work. And then let that guide your career. Because we also have a lot of voices that tell us what work should look like, what we should want. Maybe you want a promotion, but it's in a slightly different department or area. Maybe you want to grow, but you want to grow in a different industry, right? Maybe in your area. But you're like, Oh, maybe I'm in accounting. I want to be a CFO, but I want to do it in a creative company instead of in a bank or something like that.
So I would say, #1: get Stacy's book. #2: Tune in to your intuition. Tune in to what excites and delights you before you make that decision to move forward. Because we want to make sure it's your voice you're following, not the culture outside. Those are the top two things, I would say.
Stacy Mayer: Yeah, I love that. Anything else you want to share with us before we go? Marriage, work, anything, All the things.
Maggie Reyes: Oh, my gosh. There's so much I know.
Stacy Mayer: That's why I was like: Let's just see what else is on Maggie's mind for right now.
Maggie Reyes: Okay. Here's a quote that I that I say a lot and that I just want to offer to everybody. So because I think about things through the lens of lens of relationship, through the lens of marriage, but any kind of long term relationship, is a tell people... I'm going to give you two quotes. One is mine and what is one that I love quoting.
The first one is how you love is how you live. So think about what you love. Think about if you have a partner, your partner, your family, your job. Are you dreading it all the time? That means you're filled with dread in so many other places. Are you? Are you loving, excited and delighted? Then you have that delight to bring to other places. So how you love is how you live.
And then the other quote is from a gentleman named Samuel Johnson from I think, the 17 or 1800s. And he said. To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition. I'm going to say it again. To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.
So as you're working towards the promotion, as you're developing your leadership, think about what is the impact in the home of your mind, in the home of your body, in the home you actually live in as your sanctuary on Earth. Think of all we're doing is to be happy at home, what type of work schedule? What type of work, what type of colleagues, what type of culture is going to contribute to you being happy at home? Because that is what it's all for.
Stacy Mayer: So good. So good. So how do we continue to follow you and learn more about you and all the things?
Maggie Reyes: So definitely, if you're on Instagram, you can find me at @TheMaggieReyes. You can tell us your favorite take away. Tag Stacy, tag me. We want to hear your favorite take away from this conversation. And you can find me at MaggieReyes.com. You can find my programs, my information, Everything that I do is there for you.
Stacy Mayer: I can't wait. I'm hoping you post pictures of your holiday cruise or keep it personal. Whatever you want to do, whatever feels right for the two of you. But I am just so delighted that you're taking these two weeks and and I'm sure your husband is as well. It just sounds wonderful. So wonderful.
Maggie Reyes: Thank you.
Stacy Mayer: Thank you, Maggie.
Maggie Reyes: Thanks, everyone. Bye!
About Your Host
Hi! I'm Stacy Mayer, a Certified Executive Coach and Promotion Strategist on a mission to bring more diversity to the leadership table by getting 1000 underrepresented corporate managers promoted into senior executive positions each year worldwide.
I help undervalued executives scale to the C-Suite using repositioning strategies that build your confidence and visibility, so you can earn the recognition and support you need from key stakeholders while embodying your unique leadership style.
My podcast “Women Changing Leadership with Stacy Mayer” tackles topics like executive communication, getting more respect in the workplace from challenging bosses and team members, and avoiding the common mistakes that sabotage career advancement.
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