Your next promotion is within your control and this podcast shows you how to get there. Welcome to episode number 143. 

Today's episode, I'm going to be sharing with you a profound revelation I recently experienced in that I realized more and more as I'm doing the work with the women inside of Executive Ahead of Time, that the real work is not necessarily getting the promotion, but it's more an understanding of how to overcome adversity along the way. Listen on.

Hello corporate badasses. Welcome to another episode of Maximize Your Career. I'm your host, Stacy Mayer and super excited as always to be here with you again this week. Before I get into today's episode, I want to make sure that you're following me on Instagram. Many of you are already following me on LinkedIn, which is fantastic. But I am having so much fun over on Instagram right now creating reels. I am making myself laugh. I'm making you laugh. And I'm also making so many women think profoundly about what is actually happening for you at work and make decisions accordingly. So go to Instagram and search for Corporate Badass or Stacy Mayer and follow me today.

I alluded to this in last week's episode, but I actually had a couple of things happen inside of The Leadership Table, and it really made me think about the work that we're doing inside of Executive Ahead of Time and even deeper inside of my advanced coaching program, The Leadership Table. And I wanted to dedicate the entire episode today to having that conversation about the darker moments of getting promoted and advancing into higher level positions and what actually happens when you fail, so to speak. And I wanted to just have a conversation around that adversity. So the biggest thing that came up for us in the last couple of weeks in The Leadership Table is we had a couple of women get passed over for promotions that they were definitely 150% qualified for. They had done all of the work to get that promotion. And then we're told, for reasons outside of their personal control, that they weren't going to receive them. Now, these were pretty high level promotions. One was an actual CEO/President level promotion, and the other one was a Vice President level promotion. And it's devastating when you get told that despite everything that you're doing, you're still not going to get a promotion.

Now, I want to clarify and as a listener to this podcast, do you know what I mean when I say everything that you're doing and you're doing everything right? My definition of doing everything right to set yourself up for a promotion is very different than what yours might be at this time. I also really want you to check in with yourself and really understand is that whole idea of working really hard, putting in all the hours, making sure that you get A-plus on every single project that you work in, really trying to prove yourself because of how smart you are and putting in all the hours. And then at the end of the day, you get passed over for a promotion. So when that happens, you're going to notice something in your body. You're going to notice an emotional reaction. And how you'll know if you're going for a promotion in this way is that your emotional reaction will often be one of bitterness, anger, resentment and this extreme frustration. But in that more aggressive way, which is like, who are they to do this to me? And that's a good way to check in and to see if you were going about the promotion in a way that I teach, which actually leads to getting a promotion. So the way that I teach that actually leads to getting a promotion is different. We don't let our work speak for itself. We actually advocate for our promotion year round. We have very direct conversations with our boss. We build relationships with the entire Executive Team and we create that promotion blueprint so we actually know way before our performance review comes up what our status is. And so these women inside of The Leadership Table have done that second part. And what I noticed from them when they were passed over for these promotions, and they were being told that despite all their best efforts, they were not going to receive the promotion beyond anything that they could have done. Their feelings were not resentment, anger, I am so mad at them type of feelings. How could they do this to me? Their feelings, their emotional reaction was disappointment. Sadness. Tears. And then incredible resiliency, that idea of what's next? What am I going to do next versus how can they do this to me?

And that is the first sign that you're going about the promotion the right way. If you have that feeling of disappointment and sadness that it didn't work out exactly as planned, but yet you are able to look at the situation and then just say, next, okay, I'm resilient. So whether that it means that I'm staying here or I'm moving on. I have options because I am in charge of my career. And I was having this discussion inside of The Leadership Table, and it was literally one of my most profound conversations that these women were all having and supporting each other. And every single woman in the group had been either been let go in the past six months or actually fired or decided that particular opportunity wasn't right for them and they needed to pivot. So whatever that might have been for them, they had had these quote unquote failures in the past six months and done something differently. And the outcome was fantastic. They look back and they say wow, I am in an even better role now. I have better job satisfaction. I have more autonomy. I'm closer to my 3xed vision, whatever that might be. And I think a lot of listeners to this podcast understand the concept that things do get better and everything happens for a reason. And I'm going to look back on this some day and it's going to be, well, I'm glad I dodged a bullet. Whatever that might be. And that type of resiliency I think is in each and every one of us. And we're very familiar with that. Get back on the horse, try for something new because we're all high achievers. We all work very hard and we have overcome adversity at various different times in our life. But in today's episode, I want to show you how overcoming adversity is actually more important than landing the promotion itself. And this also points to the idea that the journey is part of the destination versus the destination itself.

Many of the women who get promoted inside of Executive Ahead of Time is because we are becoming that Executive Level Leader Ahead of Time. We are actually communicating with other executives at our organization, regardless of our title, regardless of our current level of inclusion in those higher level conversations. We're having 15-Minute Ally Meetings with our boss's boss's boss. We're showing up as that Executive Leader Ahead of Time. By the time that we actually receive our promotion, which could happen in three weeks or six months or whatever, that next level promotion, we're actually overqualified for that role. So this can feel very defeatist. You're like, oh, I work so hard to get that promotion. And now it's like again. Next. Oh, wait, I'm already doing that job. I'm already overqualified for this role and I'm constantly thinking, next, next, next, next.

And I want you to see that that attitude, that idea of next, next, next is actually really great. It's very freeing as long as that becomes part of our daily attitude, because if we're consistently advocating for our promotions, if we are showing our work, if we're building relationships with the Executive Team and we're not just waiting for opportunities to come our way. We are going to feel that sense of relief. That feeling that we are incredibly valued and that we have choices. So you will get the promotion and you will find that it's not that big a deal, not as big a deal as it felt six months ago. You're going to be like, oh, yeah, it's going to feel a little bit like "of course, of course I got the promotion." Now I'm level set or even still below that. And so getting the promotion itself, getting the title itself is not actually the work quote unquote, that we're doing inside of Executive Ahead of Time.

And this is weird for me to say because I promote Executive Ahead of Time as this place where you get the promotion. You actually get a pay increase, you actually get a title increase. But the sneaky work that I'm doing inside of Executive Ahead of Time is I'm teaching you how to overcome adversity. So I noticed that the woman, when she was telling the group inside The Leadership Table that she was not going to receive this promotion, that we had all seen her on this interview journey and just really desiring it and wanting it. When she said it to the group, she was disappointed but not angry, bitter, resentful. Two very different emotions. And on top of that, she had this attitude of, okay, what's next? This grounded confidence that she was in charge. And if it wasn't going to work out, if it wasn't meant to be, then what was she going to do for her own career? And I asked her how she got to that place and to be able to articulate to the group, what was happening for her that was so different than before? If she had been passed over for this opportunity, she would have been resentful, angry, bitter and all of those things. And she said. I didn't fail ahead of time. I wanted the role. I did everything possible. And when I look back at the interview process, I actually don't think I could have changed anything. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did the best that I could do. Now, if you're somebody that's really comfortable with failing ahead of time, what your interview process looks like is well, you know, we'll see. I'll go for it because I should. But, you know, I'm not really sure that I'll get the role. And so we're tampering our expectations in the effort to avoid disappointment. But then what happens and part of the reason that we're angry and resentful and bitter is because we're also angry and resentful and bitter at ourselves. We beat ourselves up and we shame ourselves and we make ourselves feel bad for what happened.

When in reality, when you go for it, when you truly do the best that you could. She was getting coaching from me on a weekly basis on her interview answers. She was preparing full force for these interviews. She had built relationships with the entire board. She knew her 3xed vision. She was showing up at those interviews in a strong and powerful way, very much like herself and the value that she was going to bring to that role. She did the best that she could do in those interviews. And at the end of the day, if it doesn't work out, of course you are disappointed. But she couldn't even be mad at herself. She wasn't mad at them. I think she might have been a little bit I don't know for sure. But she wasn't angry, like I'll show them, that bitterness that we all experience. And then she couldn't even beat herself up and feel bad because she didn't fail ahead of time. She truly went for it. She wanted the role. And at the end of the day, when she didn't get it, she of course, she was disappointed. But her attitude was one of next. All right. Let's see what happens. Let's figure out what to do next. Let's focus on what we can control. And this is so important that you really understand that your next promotion is just like this little almost insignificant and meaningless part of the process. And I think that is really, really important because the process to getting to those higher level executive positions becomes the work. So the woman that you become that changes, that shifts into this person that is constantly advocating for her next promotion, that is always, always, always going to build relationships and 15-Minute Ally Meetings. That truly goes for it and knows exactly what she wants and knows that she has options around every corner. That Executive Leader, that woman that you become in this process doesn't change. I talk about raising your baseline. 

So when you come into Executive Ahead of Time, literally in the first week that you join us, you will change. Because when we create awareness in our eyes and our knowledge we start to see where our roadblocks are and we can't unsee it. Even if we don't know how to change it yet. But once you're able to see how you being constantly in the weeds, being overwhelmed with details, waiting for them to accept you, waiting for the next performance review instead of being the owner and deliberately managing your own career. Once you see that's not what you're doing. Even if you don't know how to fix it, you can't unsee that. It's true. You can't unsee it. So your baseline has changed. It has shifted. It has risen. When your baseline changes and you start to see yourself as a woman who really goes for it, that doesn't fail ahead of time. That doesn't go back to her old level of standards. Her baseline has changed. She is now a different person. That is the woman that you become. That is truly that Executive Leader. That person that owns her career choices, that never goes back, that knows her value. That's willing to ask for what she wants and needs, that's willing to shift perception and build those relationships. That is humble enough to know that she doesn't have all the answers o.R need to have all the answers. That understands what her 3xed vision is and is willing to go after her long term vision no matter what it takes, even if it means leaving the organization that you care so deeply about. Because you know that you're meant for more. That there is more work for you to be doing for the next 20 years of your career. Your 3xed vision is so clear. And you're willing to go for that. Then it just becomes a level of disappointment. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be disappointed that it didn't work out. But you also understand and have the resources and the ability to say, okay, next.

So as much as I talk about getting into Executive Ahead of Time and the process that I teach is all about getting your promotion. That's just one piece of the puzzle. I want your next promotion to be inevitable. I want it to be something that you are overqualified for, because I also want you to look at the next 20 years of your career and to say, okay, what do I want to be doing before I retire? What type of position do I want to be in? What impact do I want to be making? What does my work/life balance look like? What extra things do I want to be working on in terms of my thought leadership? Do I want to be known as a pioneer in my industry, whatever that might be before I retire, and know that that is not changing. So know no matter what happens in the short term, whether you get your next promotion or you don't, you still are going to get your next promotion because you're willing to pivot. That long term vision is the most important thing, and that's also the reason that so many women inside of Executive Ahead of Time get skip level or double promotions in very short amounts of time. Because once they do get that promotion, they are overqualified. And it's this idea of next, all right, next, next. I hope that you've enjoyed today's episode. And I would really, really love it if you could share the podcast with other listeners, other women that you know, who might be challenged right now because they've been passed over for promotion. To see what can they do differently and how can they start putting themselves out there in a way that really takes their leadership back, that owns their Executive Leadership path and and owns their values and what they want out of life so that I can help them go after those big dreams. Because we need you at The Executive Leadership Table. Your organization needs you at The Leadership Table more than you need them. And I am so grateful to have the tools to help you get there. Thank you all so much for listening and I'll see you next week. Bye.