Stacy Mayer: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Maximize Your Career. I'm your host, Stacy Mayer, and super excited, as always, to be here with you again this week. This week I have a very special guest for you guys. Pam Borton is somebody that I met many, many years ago back when I was doing a continuing education certification - getting my health and wellness coach certification. And Pam was in some of the breakout rooms, and we got to connect virtually, and she is one of those women that just really stuck with me. And since then, I have been following her work online. She has written two fantastic books that we're going to talk about today, but in the world of executive coaching, she is on point. That is actually the name of her company as well. But what you think about it, it really describes Pam and the work that she does for female leaders and for corporations; and she is just really changing executive leadership. And I had to get her on the podcast to share some of the work that she's doing and to also talk to us about her fabulous books that are out so that we can start implementing these amazing tools yesterday. 

So let me give a more formal introduction of Pam, and then we'll just start diving right in. As a leading ICF master executive coach, professional speaker and author, Pam Borton is committed to taking C-Suite executives, teams, and organizations to the next level. Her background stands apart with 25 years coaching Division One women's basketball, including 12 years as head coach at the University of Minnesota in the Big Ten. There, she led her teams to a Final Four, Elite Eight, three straight sweet 16's and numerous NCAA tournament appearances. Quite honestly, this is why I remember Pam so well because she talks - she has some really great stories I'm hoping she'll share with us today. She is also the author of On Point and her newest book that just came out is called The Crooked Rim - Master Your Mindset to Strengthen Your Resilience for Limitless Personal and Professional Excellence. Pam, thank you so much for being here with us today. 

Pam Borton: Thank you so much for having me, Stacy, and it's so great to see you again. And when you mentioned that certification in health and wellness, I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, that was many moons ago', but it was just a couple of years ago. 

Stacy Mayer: Yeah, it really was, wasn't it?

Pam Borton: It was. But that was something else - that whole certification for sure.

Stacy Mayer: So, tell me a little bit about that because obviously it sounds like what you're alluding to is how much you've grown since then. So, when we think about many moons ago, it's usually because I was a different person back then. And honestly looking back, I certainly was a different person back then. So how have you grown as a leader just since that health and wellness certification?

Pam Borton: Well, I mean, I've grown just by being a continuous lifelong learner. And I think no matter what we do and what industry we're in, we have to continue to learn, stay relevant, stay curious. And that's how I have grown as a leader. And you know, you dive into a lot of those topics that we dove into in health and wellness, and goodness sakes, we didn't know the pandemic was going to hit us just a few months later. And so, all of those skills and coping skills and recovery and resilience, and that mental health and wellbeing all came into play for myself, for others around me, and for everyone - all of my clients that I'm working with. So that's how I've grown as a leader, is just continuing to learn, and implementing all of those things that we learned in class into my life and also to others. 

Stacy Mayer: Excellent. And so, you mentioned being a lifelong learner. What are some of the other secrets to your success as a leader? 

Pam Borton: Well, there's so many. There are so many attributes and characteristics that make all of us successful. And I think if I had to pick - I don't know if I can pick one - but the first one that comes to my mind is just persistence. And just persistence and determined and focused - I've always been extremely focused. I always knew what I wanted. Even when I was in my 20s, I knew I wanted to be a coach at a program that could eventually go to a Final Four. I knew that when I was 22 years old. And so, I was always focused, I was disciplined. I always had those aspirations in my mind that, you know, that I had. So, you know, just that persistence, focus, and discipline is really the secret to my success. 

Stacy Mayer: So, you're 22 years old, you know you're going to go to the Final Four, and then you actually take your team to the Final Four. You just like, 'Oh yeah, I knew that was going to happen'. 

Pam Borton: Well, when I was 22, I knew what I wanted - I wasn't there yet. So, it was about 14 or 15 years later, I was taking my team to the Final Four. I was 22 years old, and I was green. I was young. I had no idea what I was doing, but I paid my dues, got an entry level position at a Division One school, and just worked my way up the ladder. And I took some chances. I took some risks and just embraced every opportunity that I got, and by the time I was 36 years old, I was heading to the Final Four. 

Stacy Mayer: Yes, that is so exciting. So, you have a really great story. You actually have a net behind you, and if you could see the visual of our recording today, she has part - a part - of a basketball net behind her. Can you tell us that story of cutting down the net? I remember this story, so it's a good one. 

Pam Borton: It all started like the night before - it started the night before in my hotel suite with my team. And all of those things that we talk about today, those meditation and visualization is all the things that we did as coaches with our teams. And we met in my hotel room suite - my whole team, I support staff - and we did a visualization exercise with a pair of scissors that was still in its plastic packet. And we all gathered in my room, and we had a pep talk, a chat, a visualization, and we asked all of the players and my support staff, 'tomorrow night we're going to be playing the number one team in the country - the Duke Blue Devils. And when that game ends and that buzzer goes off, we are going to be cutting down the nets and these are the scissors that you're going to use'. Yes, this was the day before. And what we would like you to do right now is we want you to take as much time as you need, find some room, have a seat. We want you to meditate, visualize and take a pen and write on the back of that package who you're going to play for tomorrow night when you get on that court. And it was emotional. I mean, we had tears rolling down people's faces. We had smiles, we had giggles. We had all kinds of emotions that were going on in that room. Because when you think about where they were on the biggest stage of a player - as a coach and a player - you always dream of going to a Final Four. That's the pinnacle of anyone's career or a coach's career. And they wrote on the back who they were going to play for -their family, their friends, their grandma that just passed away a couple of weeks ago, their mom, their dad, their siblings, their boyfriends, whatever it was. And exactly 24 hours later, they were cutting down the nets. And when you dream, and you hope, and you visualize, and you believe - you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. 

Stacy Mayer: That is so, so beautiful. I just had this image as you were speaking. So, one of - well, my goal, my mission, the reason that I have the company that I have is to change the face of the leadership table, to bring more diversity into the boardroom, to give women the tools to get themselves promoted. And as you're sharing the story, I can't help but think about the possibility of bringing some of that experience to the corporate world. And so, I would love to hear from you if you have any examples, because now you've transitioned to a different type of coaching. If you've had any examples of bringing this type of work, this visualization, this wanting - why are we doing this? Why do we want a promotion? Why do we work? All of that - I bet you have some really great examples of bringing this work into corporations. 

Pam Borton: We could talk about that for hours. We share the same passion. We really do. I mean, I spent almost 30 years coaching young women, you know, coaching them when they came in as knuckleheads, and I say that with all my heart. And I watch them graduate four or five years later as strong, powerful, battle-tested women. And that was more rewarding to me than any win, any big win, any Final Fours. Watching them go from a knucklehead to - they could go and do anything that they wanted to do because they were so tough and confident and so talented. And being able to instill that type of confidence and grit and belief in those young women - It was an easy transition for me to take those coaching skills into the boardroom. And a lot of clients - they want to work with me. They're attracted to working with me because I've been that type of coach, a very successful coach. I have built culture. I've gotten elite athletes to the next level, to the professional level, build high-performing teams, culture, and organizations. And I do exactly that in the business world. And so, I've translated everything that I've done in the sports world into the boardroom, and people love the sports analogies.

Stacy Mayer: I love it too - corporate athletes - that always comes out for me. And it's funny because when I say that to my clients, you know, I say, 'think about what you would do differently if you were a corporate athlete', because most of them are somewhat challenged, even if they could get that C-Suite level role, they were like, 'How could I manage myself?' And so, I'm like, 'You have to start thinking like a corporate athlete'; and it clicks you into something you're like, 'Oh, yes, I'm not managing my time. I don't have boundaries. I'm not disciplined.' 

Pam Borton: That's the best. I talk about that a lot in my book In The Crooked Rim - going from the elite athlete and now coaching the corporate athlete. And I compare the two and it's actually tougher to be the corporate athlete.

Stacy Mayer: Tell me about it. Let's talk. 

Pam Borton: Let's talk about that. Well, elite athletes, you know, they have seasons. And you're very fortunate to be an elite athlete and a professional. Professionals' careers - maybe if they're lucky - last about 15 years until they're in their mid-thirties. Unless you're a Tom Brady or are 40 and they're freaks of nature. So, you know, they all have the best coaches. Some of them have three, four or five coaches. They want to be the best. They surround themselves with the best people. They know how to recover; they know how to get their mindset. They know they've developed themselves mentally, emotionally, purposefully, spiritually, obviously physically; and they're seasonal and their careers are about 15 years and they have breaks. The corporate athlete, they're working for 40 years, and they don't have breaks unless they take vacation. And we know that 86 percent of people work on vacations today. But most professionals don't have coaches. They don't surround themselves with the best people. They don't train mentally, emotionally, or even physically. But however, they're asked to perform at even a higher level than elite athletes. 

Stacy Mayer: So, then what do you recommend? How do we start training ourselves? 

Pam Borton: Well, it's: get a mentor. Get a coach. Invest in yourself. Continue to learn. Understand what it's going to take to be the best. And it's not just physical training. You know, running, sleeping, eating well, it is mental training. It's the qualities that you mentioned. It's: How do I focus? How do I manage my time? How do I stay disciplined? How do I build those strategic-thinking skills? That is mental fitness. And then developing that emotional side - emotional intelligence. That's pretty self-explanatory. And then, as you mentioned a little bit earlier, is that purposeful development - understanding my why? Why am I doing what I'm doing, what purpose do I have, what purposes do I have to the bigger picture of this team and all of those four competencies I talk about a lot in my book. And that's what I coach in my executives. 

Stacy Mayer: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So, another reason why I'm really drawn to you in addition to just all of your awesomeness is because my first coach was actually my mother. So, when I was in grade school, I played all the sports basketball, softball, volleyball. I was terrible at all the sports, and I really just wanted to dance and cheerlead - that's all I cared about. But my mom was the coach. And so, I played all the sports because that's what I was supposed to do. But my mom was the absolute best coach, and I wanted nothing more than to be with her and to be on her teams. And even though I wasn't great at the sports, she found a way to still include me. I remember I was the catcher because when I was in fifth grade, nobody got the ball to the catcher. So, I didn't really - I didn't have anybody sliding into home plate and have to get them out. But she put me as catcher because of my voice - because I was loud, because I could distract the batters, like, be annoying. But it's definitely what inspired me to be the coach that I am today. And so, I have no doubt that your history, obviously as a coach in sports, has inspired you to become an executive coach. So, can you talk to us about that transition a little bit for yourself? 

Pam Borton: Absolutely. After 27 years of coaching Division One college basketball, I came to a pivotal point in my career; and fortunately, I worked with an executive coach when I was coaching. The stress, the pressure, the high expectations - my job was extremely visible - public scrutiny. I worked with an executive coach for three years and he helped me transform as a coach and a leader, and I had the best experience. I felt everyone around me just got better and changed because I got better and changed. And when I came to a point in my career, I'm like, 'I don't know if I can do this'. I interviewed for some jobs. I'm like, 'I don't know if I can do this for another 10 or 15 years. I'm going to take the year off, figure out what I want to do. In the meantime, I'm going to get my certification and coaching, and then let's figure this out in about nine months'. Obviously, I went in this direction and I'm so glad that I did. My why is still the same - I have an opportunity to make a difference and an impact in people's lives. But I just don't have that roundball doing that part. 

Stacy Mayer: What's your Final Four now? So, you knew at 22 that you wanted to be in the Final Four? What's your next 20 years? What's your next Final Four? 

Pam Borton: Oh my gosh, that's a great question. You're - great coaching questions. You know, it's funny because I try to help my clients reach their Final Four. Their Final Fours all look different than my Final Four did. And so being able to define what that Final Four is - is really, really important. You know, I think for me, it's just continuing - I reached my Final Four, but now I'm sure there's another Final Four. But I think just continuing to make a difference and impact in my clients. But there are so many more tentacles that happen below those clients. They're able to impact higher organization. 

Stacy Mayer: So, tell me about your process on coaching executives to find their own Final Four. I'd love to hear more about that. 

Pam Borton: Well, you know, I have a whole coaching approach, you know, with onboarding and assessments and 360's and all of that. But really, it's - you know, I had a really interesting conversation with a client today - an extremely, extremely high performer in a global tech company - top sales individual and very young in his career. He's been at this company for 10 years and it's like, you've got to look. Are you going to stay in that position for the next 30 years? I mean, you're killing it, you're knocking it out of the park. And so, we've got to start thinking about what you want to do next and what does your Final Four look like? Not just now, but we've got to think, you know, kind of with the end in mind. 

Stacy Mayer: I love that. So that you're making decisions today based on where you're headed. I just can't I can't help but think that at age 22, knowing that you want to be in the Final Four, it had to have impacted every single 'yes', that you had every 'no' that you made. Every single thing that you were doing was moving in that direction. And so that makes - that really makes a lot of sense to me.

Pam Borton: You're absolutely right.

Stacy Mayer: Any surprises transitioning into executive coaching? 

Pam Borton: Oh, there are surprises every day. You know that it's like pop, pop. You know one thing is a leader, I would always tell my staff and the people that surrounded me was one of the things that was a 'no-no' was: I wanted no surprises. 

Stacy Mayer: Oh yeah. You were going to make sure - 'I'm in control. No surprises.’ 

Pam Borton: Well, it's not so much control. But you don't want to have to put out a fire, or there's no point back, or you can't fix an issue because you're just laying it on the table right now. 

Pam Borton: Keep me informed. No surprises. So, surprises, transitioning - I think it's just learning how to be a business owner. The coaching stuff was easy - working with clients, working with teams, having a process, having a structure for coaching. But, oh my goodness, I had people around me my entire life doing everything for me. You know, fixing my computer to graphics, designs, to marketing, to booking my flights. I had people around me that did everything for me. Well, now we're doing everything for ourselves. 

Stacy Mayer: Yeah, it's a little bit different. So, tell us about your latest book, The Crooked Rim. So, tell us what the book is about, what inspired you to write it - a little bit more about that? 

Pam Borton: Well, what inspired me to write it was, again, everyone around me. 'Pam, when are you going to write your second book? When are you going to write your second book?' And I'm like, I'm saying to myself, 'I'm never writing a second book.' I would never tell them that. I'm like, 'Oh, I'm too busy. I don't have time. My business is blowing up, you know, in a good way'. And then COVID hit; and I was traveling every week before COVID. I was on the road, and then I was not on the road, and everything became virtual - and, talking with my clients and doing trainings, and also, I'm a professional speaker. So, I was keynote speaking behind a screen, looking at myself, speaking, and I just lost my train of thought. So, it came to a screeching halt, and I gave myself - again. I gave myself a deadline - and I'm like, 'okay, I have no excuses to not write a second book because I'm home.' And so, I'm like, July 15th - I put it on the calendar because I always found something else to do or another excuse. And July 15th, I'm going to start an outline. I'm going to start writing my book. 

Stacy Mayer: So, you know, what's interesting about this story so far is that your true north, your Final Four stayed the same. So, the world changed around you, but you were like, 'Look, I still have impact to make here. I still have lives to change. I still have work to do. How am I going to do that? I'm going to start writing a book -, so I love that. I really, really do. That's fantastic. So, you talk a little bit about growing up on a farm. And the beautiful cover of the book is a picture of a barn, and that's very surprising to me. If you're listening to this, you might not have thought that that's what this book is laying out, at least from that perspective. So, tell me about that idea to write the book.

Pam Borton: Well, obviously the hottest topic globally was resilience and what everybody was experiencing, from social injustice to the election to COVID to... the list goes on and on - mental health. Kids are home-schooling and there were so many different things that people were experiencing for the first time, and people really had to really kind of master their mindsets and really strengthen their resilience to get through this time. I had to do that myself as well, and I talk about it in the book. But The Crooked Rim, obviously speaking about resilience, really, I learned resilience for the first time by shooting baskets, basketballs at a mangled, crooked rim. When you're shooting a basketball at a crooked rim, you're going to miss a lot. That ball's not going to go through there perfectly if you have a round cylinder. And so, I missed a lot and I just kept at it, and I never gave up and I was persistent, and I just kept finding ways for that ball to go through this mangled rim, and I would never give up. And so that's where I really kind of learned resilience and that mental toughness and that grit and that was shooting against the barn. And then fast forward at the University of Minnesota, I'm coaching in the barn in Williams Arena called 'The Barn'. And then my resilience had to go to a whole nother level - coaching in front of 14 thousand people. And, you know, millions of people that are watching our games on television - criticizing judging every move, look, substitution, call - how you got after the refs or didn't get after the refs. Everything you're doing is being judged and crushed. So, your resilience - my resilience just continued. I just continued to master it as I went through my career because everything we do is a mindset. 

Stacy Mayer: It's so good. And I just had this image of you, and I haven't been coached directly by you before, but I can hear you saying, 'I've seen it all. I've seen it all. You want to talk to me about that. I've seen it. I've been there. I've done that. Come on, let's work it out. Let's figure it out.' That's so good. 

Pam Borton: Stacy - I love you. You are - you get me really well. 

Stacy Mayer: And then I just had - I love the visual of the crooked rim. So, there is something about this idea of learning how to make the basket in the middle of imperfections. So, there's one thing, which, learning how to make the basket in a perfect rim; but learning how to hit the basket in an imperfect world. Which is actually more likely, and that is the type of resilience that we need in the world, and as executive leaders, and as we're continuing to grow our careers - because it's not going to work out the way we had planned. There are going to be surprises. 

Pam Borton: Yeah, I've learned that if we think things are going to work out exactly how we had them planned or I get to leave my position exactly how I wrote it up, that's not going to happen that way. I learned that as a coach, you know, 'Oh, I can see how I'm going to end this.' I've written my script and it never happens that way. And so, you have to continue to adjust and adapt and be resilient and just get up and brush yourself off and move on to the next play. 

Stacy Mayer: Exactly - because the vision, the Final Four, is still the vision. But how we're going to get there, who the heck knows? Any other stories from the book or anecdotes that you'd like to share that we could learn more about it?

Pam Borton: Well, you know, there's a lot about resilience in there, and I actually in the book, there's strategies. There's tools and strategies that are very specific that are all around our emotional capacity because that hormone in our brains, that serotonin just really kind of it's a hormone that's dumped in your brain. And if you apply a lot of these practices, trainings - they're all teachable - that we can become so much more resilient and then eventually mentally tough. My last chapter in my book is then once we've mastered resilience, then how do I get to that next level of being mentally tough? How do I get there? And so, there's a great roadmap - it's a great game plan. I read the book over and over and I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I can't believe I wrote this. I love this book so much.' 

Stacy Mayer: Oh, that is so good. Speaking of, so I think the book actually comes out on Amazon booksellers - all that fun stuff - in January, correct? It's not officially out yet. 

Pam Borton: Right. And that's the official release. I have some presales. I've already - I've been signing a couple of hundred copies in the last couple of days. 

Stacy Mayer: Oh, we get to get your signed copy. 

Pam Borton: Yes. You can go on to PamBortonPartners.com and you can order pre-sales - personalized copy to you. You know, send me your address after this, and I'll send you a book. 

Stacy Mayer: Oh, thank you. Oh, it's so exciting. Pam, as we wrap this up, I want to hear from you. What is your advice to a woman that is looking to transition into the executive suite? So, she wants to make that bigger impact. Her Final Four is very clear. She wants to be a chief impact officer, a chief business officer, a C-Suite leader someday, but she doesn't exactly know how to get there. What's your advice for her? 

Pam Borton: Ask for help - get a coach, get a mentor. Go talk to your supervisor. Get a sponsor. But number one is - I think is really important; and you and I deal with this probably every single day - is women don't go for those positions because they're not 100 percent ready. I don't feel like I'm 100 percent ready or I need to go get this certification, or I need to make sure; I need to brush up on these skills a little bit where I only feel like I'm 85 percent ready. And no one's ever 100 percent ready for any position. And, you know, embrace it, learn on the job, but just have the confidence. Put your name in the hat and get a coach, get a sponsor, get a mentor, and go for it. 

Stacy Mayer: Yeah - this is actually - something came to mind when you were talking about mental toughness or resilience. And I think that to my fault, and to some of my clients’ fault, it will go to, well, 'I'm not mentally tough yet'. I'm not a corporate athlete yet. I haven't got my talk about exercise - I'm really not doing that. I'm not even drinking enough water, so I'm definitely not going to apply for this job. So, like, I'm definitely not going to put my name in the hat. So how do we actually get over that hurdle that you're talking about, which is just put your name in? So knowing that we still have growth, we're not perfect. It's not 100 percent, we're not 100 percent ready, but we're going to put our name in. Then what? 

Pam Borton: When you say - 'put your name in the hat'?

Stacy Mayer: Yeah, then what? Oh my gosh - because I don't want to fall apart. I don't want to break down. Then what? 

Pam Borton: Well, I would say 'lace up, strap in, buckle up'. And I would say, 'you're a corporate athlete, whether you like it or not'. So, you could be a successful one and you can sit on the end of the bench. You can be the sixth player, or you can be a starter, or you can be my top scorer. And so, what do you want to become? And you know, it really is that confidence. It's that confidence. And I would say, identify those things that are holding you back, and what is it, and why are they holding you back? And once I identify what those triggers are or what those feelings are, then we can tackle those and get people ready. 

Stacy Mayer: Oh my god, Pam, I need you in my back pocket. We all do. Ladies, buckle up and be my top scorer. Just do it. Come on, do you want to sit on the bench, or do you want to play here? Let's go. Love it.

Pam Borton: I want to play. I'm like, 'Well, let's go - you can do it'. 

Stacy Mayer: Then let's play. Yes, because we do want to. And then you're offering, you're providing the invitation to play, to go for it, to do the work, and it's so needed. Thank you so much, Pam. I really appreciate it. So, what are some other ways that we can find you or learn more about you? I'll connect to all of this on the show notes. 

Pam Borton: Well, my book you can find on PamBortonPartners.com. I'm all over social media. So, Pam Borton - B O R T O N. You can find me on LinkedIn. You can message me on LinkedIn. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter - way too many social media platforms, for sure, but I mean, google me, you can find me anywhere. 

Stacy Mayer: Awesome. I love it. And any final words of wisdom or advice that you'd like to offer my audience? 

Pam Borton: Yes. You know when we talk about transition, you know, life is a transition. Whether it's personal or professional, we're always in transition and we should be in transition. If we're not in transition - we're not -we're probably not going anywhere. We're probably stagnant, complacent, not getting to where we want or not being fulfilled. Life is a transition. Whether you're transitioning from, you know, high school to college, or college to the real world, or you're transitioning out of a marriage, or you're transitioning from, you know, a new job. Life is full of transitions and it's how we embrace those, and how we learn through those, and how we grow through all of those - life’s a journey and that's part of the process.

Stacy Mayer: Awesome. I love it. That's such a great reminder. Thank you again, Pam, for being here with us today. We so appreciate it. 

Pam Borton: Thank you, Stacey. Great to be here.